Another Suburban Mom

Random Unsolicited Cockshot

2012-01-31T00:01:00.001-05:00

Its Friday afternoon and I check my email and with the usual ads from Travelocity I find an email from RandomGuy with the following subject line:

RandomGuy: Hi; I'm a cuckold bull, let me know if you have a use for me.

Included with this is a subject line is a picture of his cock.

I'm a little confused as I do not know this man, and don't remember interacting with him on Twitter.

I check my followers on Twitter and confer with some tweeps and find out exactly what a cuckold bull is. Once I learn what a Cuckold Bull is I become concerned that his email was meant for someone else so I reply:

Veronica: Did you mean to send this to me? Do I know you? Do I follow you on Twitter?

Thanks

Veronica

I soon get the following reply:

RandomGuy: I live in Boston. Don't do twitter. Send a picture and maybe we can do the cuckolding thing.

I'm now thinking, shouldn't you confirm that I'm oh I don't know; Female. Attractive. Into Cuckolding prior to sending a picture of your cock around? And as if reading my mind, I quickly get this additional reply.

RandomGuy: Actually - I looked at your blog - maybe I emailed the wrong woman. Sorry if I did.

I am thinking, well duh, shouldn't you have paid attention to that before you send out pictures of your dick? However, since I'm polite I replied:

Veronica: Thank you but I don't need a bull. I'm already married to one.

(Not that Hubman is technically a bull, but I consider him to be a well-hung Alpha Male, which seems to be the main requirements for being a bull). This reply merits two quick responses.

RandomGuy: Oh snap! (Do any adult men actually say that)

RandomGuy: Sorry - I thought you cuckolded your husband.
Just so you know - it was cold when I took that picture.

Now before I got that email, I was just going to leave the whole thing alone. But the cold line just did me in. However, I didn't want to leave him hanging, when he was nice enough to apologize so I replied:

Veronica: No problem. I was just surprised to see random cock in my email.

and then since I was curious, I sent another email.

Veronica: I was wondering, does sending the random naked photos work for you? I know that many of my naughty friends on Twitter and Swinger gals are not fond of unsolicited cock shots.

Thanks

Veronica

I thought he might appreciate some friendly advice, you know in case he was a newbie. Apparently not:

RandomGuy: Yeah. But they are usually soliciting on a website or blog either officially or unofficially.
I made a mistake with you. I guess you are a cook not a cougar or cuckoldress.

Since my most recent post was a Friday Foodie, I could see where he made that inference. Too bad he didn't read the part about wanting to lick batter off of people.

Wanting to close the loop and finish the conversation I sent my final reply:

Veronica: You did but that's ok. It was lovely speaking with you.

Sincerely

Veronica

I had been on the fence about writing about this, and when I saw his email above, I was going to trash the draft I started the day before. And then I got this reply:

RandomGuy: Let me know if u have a hot friend that needs impaled.

And that readers is when I knew I had to mock him. But mocking him seems mean, so I thought I would go over a few concepts that some potential studs might find interesting.

1. Never send a random, unsolicited cock shot.

2. If you must send a cock shot, find out if the woman is open to receiving a cock shot.

3. You would know if the woman was open to cock shots if you:
a. Read the Woman's Blog;
b. Read her Twitter Feed;
c. Actually start up a conversation with said woman;
d. Ask her if she would like to see a photo of your cock before you send it;

4. If you must send a random cock shot:
a. Warn the person that cock is imminent. (A simple NSFW is sufficient)
AND
b. Never apologize for your cock, and if you must apologize for the state of your erect cock, please do not use cold temperatures as an excuse since cold temps do not effect erections.

Friday Foodie-Project 52-Week 4: Someone's Baking Brownies

2012-01-27T00:01:00.002-05:00

There are some things that I cannot make (For some reason, I cannot properly make Stove Top Stuffing), some things I am afraid to make (anything deep fried or using a pressure cooker), and some things that I just never got around to making.

Surprisingly for someone who is and is married to a major chocoholic, I have never made brownies from scratch. I have made brownies with almost every mix on the market, but never went whole on homemade.

Look at that yumminess- I want to rub it on my breasts and get it licked off-volunteers?

Anyway, since Hubman wanted brownie sundae's for his birthday dessert this week, I decided that now was a good time to break my scratch brownie cherry.

If you google 'brownie recipes' you get over 1.7 million hits. I bounced around a little and decided on the King Arthur's Flour recipe.

The stars of this post!

Fudge Brownies-Serves a Bunch

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter
2 1/4 cups sugar
4 large eggs
1 1/4 cups Double-Dutch Dark Cocoa or Dutch-process cocoa
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon espresso powder (I left this out, since you can't just buy 1 teaspoon and I never use espresso)
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
2 cups chocolate chips

Directions

1) Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly grease a 9" x 13" pan

2) In a medium-sized microwave-safe bowl, or in a saucepan set over low heat, melt the butter, then add the sugar and stir to combine. Or simply combine the butter and sugar, and heat, stirring, until the butter is melted. Continue to heat (or microwave) briefly, just until the mixture is hot (about 110°F to 120°F), but not bubbling; it'll become shiny looking as you stir it. Heating the mixture to this point will dissolve more of the sugar, which will yield a shiny top crust on your brownies.

3) While the sugar heats a second time, crack the 4 eggs into a bowl, and beat them with the cocoa, salt, baking powder, espresso powder, and vanilla till smooth.

4) Add the hot butter/sugar mixture, stirring until smooth.

5) Add the flour and chips, again stirring until smooth. Note: If you want the chips to remain intact in the baked brownies, rather than melting in, let the batter cool in the bowl for about 20 minutes before stirring in the chips.

6) Spoon the batter into a lightly greased 9" x 13" pan.

7) Bake the brownies for about 30 minutes, until a cake tester inserted into the center comes out clean, or with just a few moist crumbs clinging to it. The brownies should feel set on the edges, and the center should look very moist, but not uncooked. Remove them from the oven and cool on a rack before cutting and serving.

These were really freaking delicious. They were also moist, and fudgy and decadently rich. I asked Hubman and the kids if they were better than brownies from the mix, and the answer was a resounding yes.

So yes, they were better than brownies from a box, even the premium brownie mix.

Were they harder to make than brownies from a box? Not really. Instead of dumping in eggs, oil and water, I melted butter and heated butter and sugar in the microwave and measured a few things. The slight additional effort was completely worth the results.

Would I make brownies from scratch over brownies in a box? Not really. I usually have eggs and oil in the house, and if I wanted quick brownies all I would need is a box of mix, which I can usually get for a dollar on sale at the supermarket.

Dutch process cocoa? Chocolate Chips? Sticks of Unsalted Butter? While all are yummy and worthy items, due to the fact that Hubman and I are watching what we eat, they will not be found in our cupboard unless I make a special effort to buy them.

I did like doing the comparision of conveniece product vs scratch. While it was not my initial intent, it was fun to think about. I think I will have to try it again for another Friday Foodie, any suggestions?

Pictures That Entertain Me

2012-01-26T00:01:00.000-05:00

One of the fun things about ~~wasting time~~ reconnecting with friends and family on Facebook is the great pictures that people post with their status. I save them to my phone meaning to use them for blog fodder for a day I want a post, but am lacking inspiration.

Today, is one of those days:

This one makes me laugh at my own ethnocentricity. Even though I have been exposed to many of the world's major religions, whenever I think of prayer in school, I think of kids saying Hail Mary or The Lord's Prayer. I wonder if that is what many of the Prayer in School Advocates think of as well.

I love the Manhattan Mini Storage signs. They always give me a chuckle. I guess if this is true I should not be insulted that God does not provide me with direct instructions about how to conduct my life.

And this one is good, just in case anyone had any questions.

Sunday Stealing on a Wednesday

2012-01-25T00:01:00.000-05:00

I hate being behind with things, so I am getting caught up with Sunday Stealing. This is the last part of the Never Ending Meme.

oday we ripped off a blogger named Tense Teacher of the blog Tense for a Reason. (Yes we know that we've ripped her off not so long ago as well. It's pretty amazing since she stopped posting in 2007. But that's where we live as a thief). Also, it's long so we'll do it in parts. She does not say where she got it from. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Never Ending Meme, Ends

Cheers to all of us thieves!

36. Have you watched American Horror Story?
No. I do not like creepy or scary things. If I want frightening, I will examine the contents of the work fridge.

37. Baseball hat or toque?
Hubman thinks I am cute in a baseball cap.

38. Do you shampoo or soap up first in the shower?
I actually condition my legs and pubic area, then shampoo \ then deep condition my hair, then shave, then soap up. And now you all know way more than you need to about my showering habits.

39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste?
Wet.

40. Pen or pencil?
Pen. Especially a fine tip roller ball pen.

41. Have you ever gambled at a casino?
Yes, when I was in Vegas. I think I broke even.

42. Have you thrown up on a plane?
Nope.

43. Have you thrown up in a car?
Nope.

44. Have you thrown up at work?
Oh yeah! When I was in my 1st trimester with PP, I would throw up every morning between 9:35 and 9:45. Once I was done, I would troll the office for donuts.

45. Do you scream on roller coasters?
No.

46. How many shoes do you have?
About a dozen pairs, including boots and sneakers.

47. Who was your first roommate?
A friend from high school, who is still a friend.

48. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time?
Wine Coolers. What every happened to Bartels and James?

49. What was your first job?
Babysitter.

50. What was your first car?
A Ford Truck.

51. When did you go to your first funeral?
When I was 16 a classmate of mine died, and we went to his funeral.

52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?
17 and went to college.

53. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Burnett.

54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
Orlando.

55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
I never snuck out. I was not that adventurous.

56. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?
A girl name Kim and no.

57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents’ house?
Either my college dorm, or my 1st apartment with Hubman when we got married.

58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
Hubman.

59. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?
My mom's. I was the maid of honor.

60. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Hit the snooze button and growl 'motherfucker'

61. What was the first concert you attended?
The Kids From Fame at Jones Beach Theatre. It was awesome!

62. First tattoo or piercing?
I had my ears pierced when I was six. It took several piercings for them to stay open and not get infected.

63. First celebrity crush?
Jason Bateman. Since everyone else crushed on Ricky Schroeder, I guess I was ahead of my time.

Happy Birthday Hubman!

2012-01-24T00:01:00.001-05:00

Today Hubman turns 42! Please send him birthday wishes, and pictures of your boobs!

There are not enough words for me to describe how much I love my Hubman. We have been together for over 20 years and I am lucky to have him in my life.

He is my true love, my best friend and helped me make two beautiful babies! He is a great husband, a wonderful father and a caring friend.

So Happy Birthday Sweetie! I hope its a wonderful, sexy day!

Four Reasons Newt's "Open Marriage" Won't Hurt His Electability

2012-01-23T11:15:00.000-05:00

Warning: Cynical Rant Below.

When I heard the interview of Marianne Gingrich talk about Newt wanting an "Open Marriage" I rolled my eyes. I knew while this revelation would make Newt uncomfortable, that it would not hurt him in the election.

Yes, we could yada, yada, yada about the hypocrisy of his running as a family values person, or the 'Liberal' media's fixation on a non story (and many talented pundits have) but the real reasons this won't negatively effect Newt are:

1. Marianne Gingrich Has No Moral High Ground:
Marianne Gingrich is a stunning example of karma working. Now if we want moral high ground, lets all think about Elizabeth Edwards. That was a woman who had the moral high ground.

2. People Like New Shiny Things:
This is an age of planned obsolesce. We replace our phones every two years when something new and shiny comes out, we replace our tv's because they are not 'cool'. We as Americans are constantly in search of the newer and 'better'. This can be especially true of rich and powerful people.

And I know that I am going to have to hand in my feminism membership card for this, but Marianne Gingrich is unattractive. Callista Gingrich doesn't do it for me either, but I bet if she gave up the shellacked makeup and hair, she would be quite attractive. I also think that she wears a look that ages her (she's only 45) so the 23 year age difference between her and Newt is not so apparent.

Is it wrong for me to judge Marianne Gingrich on her appearance? Absolutely. I am a shallow person. But most of us are shallow people who judge books by their covers.

I also think that in the dirty, shallow, cheeto stained region of people's pysche, its ok to cheat on your spouse if they are ugly. And while Newt Gingrich is physically no prize, he is a wealthy, powerful man. If you are wealthy and powerful, you don't have to really be hot to be attractive.

3. Men are jealous of Newt Gingrich:
Think about it. Each time Newt trades his current wife for a younger, blonder and hotter model. At this rate his 4th wife will be:

4. Americans Have More Important Things To Worry About Than Who Newt Gingrich Fucks:
Huge numbers of unemployed people. People losing their homes in droves. People who will spend their entire lives paying off student loans. Iran. Iraq. Afghanistan. Oil dependency. Our failing schools. Crystal Meth. Does anyone really have the time or energy to care about who Newt Gingrich is fucking?

In 2000 we could make a big deal of morality and family values because things were going pretty well. In 2004 we could fuss about 'family values' because the economy was still holding on, and politicians could feed off of 9/11 partiotism.

Now, we have too many other things going on. As far as I'm concerned, Newt could release a sex tape with him and Calista having an orgy with Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan and all people would talk about is the size of Kim's ass and how much plastic surgery LiLo had.

Personally, I would love a picutre of Newt having sex, because I am trying to diet and I really need a good appetite suppressant.

The truth is, I don't think that Newt really asked for an Open Marriage. He asked to have his cake and eat it too. Obviously I was not there, but I am willing to bet that if Marianne countered with, "Sure Newt, go ahead and screw Callista, I'm going to fuck our CPA", Newt would not have gone for that.

And this is not because Newt would not want his wife to have the same opportunities that he had, but because a real open marriage would not have been acceptable in politics at the time Newt supposedly proposed it.

I also doubt that a couple who swings, or practices poly relationships would be considered acceptable in politics today.

I used to joke with Hubman that before we started swinging, we had to decide if we ever wanted to run for office, because Swingers would not be getting elected to the White House in our time. (But imagine the parties we could have in the Lincoln Bedroom)

If you are going to be concerned about Gingrich, there is a litany of things that are far better to focus on than how he handles the ends of his marriages.

Sunday Stealing

2012-01-22T00:01:00.000-05:00

I'm still a little behind on my Sunday Stealing, so I should probably write up part III now and post it on Wednesday. I also need to spend some time thinking and writing so I have some intelligent, well thought out posts for you nice people to read.

Today we ripped off a blogger named Tense Teacher of the blog Tense for a Reason. (Yes we know that we've ripped her off not so long ago as well. It's pretty amazing since she stopped posting in 2007. But that's where we live as a thief). Also, it's long so we'll do it in parts. She does not say where she got it from. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Never Ending Meme, Part Two

Cheers to all of us thieves!

21. Did you go to your high school prom?
I did, and I wore a pink and white fluffy satiny dress, with a poufy updo as any good teen of the late 80's would.

22. Perfect time to wake up?
When I am in the mood to wake up. But apparently, even if I do not need to get up early, I am still up at 6:30am.

23. Perfect time to go to bed?
I would love to stay up until 11:30 so I can watch The Daily Show, but since my alarm goes off at 5:45 during the week, I am going to say 10:30

24. Do you use your queen right away in chess?
No. I usually let it sit there, and try to protect it. However, since I suck at Chess, its never around long.

25. Ever been in a car accident?
Yes. Thankfully the only thing damaged was the car.

26. Closer to mom or dad…or neither?
My mom. My lack of a relationship with my dad could fill a week's worth of blogs, however, I don't want to talk about it because I have made my peace with things, and talking about it disrupts the peace.

27. What age is this exciting life over for you?
I am not sure what this question means. When will I die? Hopefully while I am old enough to have seen some grand children and maybe a great grand, but also hopefully while I am still lucid.

28. What decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager?
The 50's. I would have loved a pointy bra and a circle skirt.

29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned?
My Jessica Simpson heels, which were part of an HNT. Hubman, lets go back to Miami with friends, drink Peruvian cocktails and buy me more slutty shoes!

30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high school?
Nope.

31. Were you in track and field?
I did not. The only time I ran was when they told you in PE that you only had to do a mile on the track and then you could go. So I would make my lazy ass pump out a 10 minute mile.

32. Were you ever in a school talent show?
My school did not have talent shows. I was however, very active in Theatre and I was even a Thespian.

33. Have you ever written in a library book?
No. Library books are not for writing in.

34. Allergic to?
Codeine. It makes me break out in hives, which means I never get the really good cough syrup.

35. Favorite fruit?
Pineapple. I love fresh pineapple. In fact, I would love to go to Hawaii about now and have a cocktail right out of a pineapple.

Friday Foodie-Project 52-Week 3: Whole Wheat Peanut Butter Blondies

2012-01-21T13:48:00.000-05:00

In an effort to prepare healthier meals and snacks for the kids, I will often bake muffins and cookies from scratch, so I can at least have some control with what they eat. In an attempt to get more whole grains into the kids, I have been swapping out whole wheat flour for white flour.

What I find is that whole wheat flour has a more aggressive taste than white flour and is also drier. So when cooking with it, if you are trying to hide the whole wheatiness (yes I made up a word) you want to cook the items at the lower end of the cooking time so the baked good are not dry, and add a stronger, sweet flavor.

I made blondies this week, and Hubman showed the picture of the result.

Whole Wheat Peanut Butter Oatmeal Blondies (Serves Several)

2 sticks of butter, softened
3/4 Cup White Sugar
3/4 Cup Brown Sugar
1/2 Cup egg substitute
1 Tablespoon Vanilla
Dash Cinnamon
1 1/4 Cup Whole Wheat Flour
1 Cup Oatmeal (I used three envelopes of the plain instant oatmeal no one wanted to eat)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2/3 Cup Peanut Butter (I used Creamy-you make your own decision)
12oz Bag Chocolate Chips

1. Heat oven to 375. Spray a 13x9 pan with cooking spray
2. Cream butter and sugars together
3. Add egg substitute, vanilla and cinnamon, mixing well and scraping the bowl
4. Combine flour, oatmeal, baking soda and salt and add to the egg & butter mixture, a little at a time until fully mixed.
5. Add peanut butter and chocolate chips, mix until combined
6. Press mixture into prepared pan. (I will use wax paper to move the batter where I want it)
7. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until Golden Brown.
8. Cool before slicing.

My 1st batch was a little dry since I used 1/2 cup of PB and 1 1/2 cups of flour, and baked for 25-30 minutes. By mixing up the flour and pb ratio and cooking for less time should lead to a moister bar.

These bars are great in a lunch bag.

Next week, I am including a recipe for a cooking basic that I have actually NEVER made before....

What could it be?

A Sunday for Helping and A Sunday for Stealing

2012-01-15T00:01:00.000-05:00

The always awesome Sunday at Adventures in Extreme Parenthood started a petition for a developmentally disabled girl from Philadelphia who is being denied a kidney transplant due to her developmental disabilities-even if her family procures the kidney themselves. So if you could take a moment to click the link, read the story and if you are moved to sign the petition, please do so.

And now that its Sunday, its also time for a little Stealing. I am a week behind on this particular meme, but I like it so I will catch up with Part II later this week.

Today we ripped off a blogger named Tense Teacher of the blog Tense for a Reason. (Yes we know that we've ripped her off not so long ago as well. It's pretty amazing since she stopped posting in 2007. But that's where we live as a thief). Also, it's long so we'll do it in parts. She does not say where she got it from. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Never Ending Meme, Part One

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Song that always makes you sad?
Sarah McLaughlin's "Arm of the Angel", especially when they show the ad with the abused animals.

2. Last thing you bought?
Dryer Sheets.

3. Last person you argued with?
Princess Persistent. She was being challenging.

4. Do you put butter before putting the peanut butter on?
No. I never use butter and peanut butter together.

5. One of your stuffed animals’ names as a kid?
I was never a stuffed animal person. I had some, but I never named them.

6. Did you ever at one time own a Barenaked Ladies CD?
I have three. The one with "One Week", the Christmas one, and the Kiddie one.

7. Favorite day of the week?
Whatever day I have no work and no kids, so once every couple of months on a Saturday.

8. Favorite sundae topping?
Hot fudge. Lots of fudge.

9. Did you take piano lessons?
No. But one day I will.

10. Most frequent song played?
I have Kelly Clarkson's Stronger on pretty heavy rotation.

11. T.V. show you secretly enjoy?
I love Sandra Lee's Semi Homemade. Yes the food probably sucks, but the cocktails and table scapes always make me laugh.

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey?
Hockey. I actually skate pretty well.

13. Date someone older or younger?
Don't care as long as I'm feeling the connection.

14. One place you could travel right now?
I am assuming its chilly in Paris right now, so I am going to say that Hawaii sounds good.

15. Do you use umbrellas?
No. But I probably should.

16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem?
I know the title and that is it.

17. Favorite cheese?
Provolone for snacking, feta for scrambled eggs, mozzarella for grilled cheese sandwiches, and ricotta for when I want something with my pasta.

18. The Smith’s or The Cure?
The Cure since I love "Friday I'm in Love"

19. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?
In Men I prefer blondes, in women I prefer redheads.

20. Best job you ever had?
Unpaid-Being a mom to my fabulous kids. Paid-My most recent one, since it pays the most. I am one of those people who are really motivated by cash.

Friday Foodie-Project 52-Week 2: Baked Potato Soup

2012-01-13T06:48:00.001-05:00

Here is week 2 of Project 52. Each week I am going to try a new recipe and bring it to you. Here is last week's delicious stew.

With winter I want hearty, hot foods. However, hot and hearty can also be heavy, leaving me in a carb coma. So I am now trying to find yummy soups to make. I always loved potato soup, but its usually a caloric nightmare since they use heavy cream. I found a recipe that uses 1/2 & 1/2, but I subbed fat free 1/2 & 1/2 & shaved 160 calories off the total recipe, although I am not sure of the total calorie count for this.

This recipe comes together in about 30 minutes. I baked potatoes earlier in the week when I was running the oven for something else, and I used two for the soup, and I made a lightened up version of twice baked potatoes which I froze to use for this weekend.

Hubman and I really liked the soup, and the kids were less enthusiastic about it, since the Tabasco and black pepper gives it a kick. If I were to make it again, I would probably leave the black pepper and Tabasco out during the cooking process and use it after I dished it up.

I got home from work a little late yesterday, so I did not have time to take photos.

Baked Potato Soup (Serves 4)

3 bacon strips, diced (The bacon is for garnish, so make extra bacon)
1 small onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon pepper
3 cups chicken broth
2 large baked potatoes, peeled and cubed (If you wanted to use 4 smaller red taters and keep the skins on for color, I don't think it would wreck things)
1 cup half-and-half cream (I used fat free)
1/2 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
Shredded Cheddar cheese
Minced fresh parsley

1. In a large saucepan, cook bacon until crisp. Drain, reserving 1 tablespoon drippings. Set bacon aside.
2. Saute onion and garlic in the drippings until tender.
3. Stir in flour, salt, basil and pepper; mix well. (Use a whisk to make sure the flour does not clump)
4. Gradually add broth. Bring to boil; boil and stir for 2 minutes.
5. Add the potatoes, cream and hot pepper sauce; heat through but do not boil.
6. Garnish with bacon, cheese and parsley.

TMI Tuesday-All About Big Jake The One Eyed Snake

2012-01-10T00:01:00.001-05:00

Today’s TMI Tuesday was inspired by my friends at Infidelity Chronicles.

All about the wedding tackle, twig & berries, pole, fire hose, skin flute, dipstick, meat thermometer or what we all know as the penis.

1. What’s more important – length or width? Why?

I like both but if I had to pick I would like width. I also find that when I'm really PMSing, the ultra deep penetration can be less than fun.

2. Ever encountered one that was too big for you to handle?

Yes. There is such a thing as too much friction, especially combined with the magical drying powers of condom.

3. Best place to put a penis?

Near someone who knows how to use it.

4. If you had a penis for a day, what would you do with it?

Pee outside standing up and hope it was snowing so I could write my name in pee.

Penis Envy: Largest penis in the animal kingdom is 11 feet (blue whale)

5. You’re a penis, which love canal (that’s a vagina) would you most like to visit:
a. short and shallow
b. fall into the gap, gliding smoothly along the slick walls
c. tight suction lip-lock
d. none, I prefer the back door thank you

I would like a tight suction lip-lock.

Bonus: What is the perfect name for your penis or a penis you use often?

I don't name penises. But I prefer to use the word cock over penis.

World Penis Size Map: Where would you like to visit? click

I'm perfectly happy with fine American Cock. But South America does seem nice this time of year.

Also, if you want to see many, many euphemisms for penis visit, Dicktionary

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Adventures in Calorie Counting Part II

2012-01-08T11:29:00.001-05:00

I had once written an Adventures in Calorie Counting bitching about how Panera had a cookie that had more calories than the whole lunch that I had eaten.

Hubman and I are both working on improving our eating habits so we can loose weight and be able to have sexier naked pictures for everyone. As part of this effort, we are using Fit Day to track what we eat.

This leads to the after dinner conversation of "How many calories are in...."

We have come to realize that those dinky little Jiffy Mix Corn Muffins have 170 Calories each! Maybe a skosh less since I use 1% milk and the recipe on the box does not specify the type of milk used, but still- 170 calories for a dinky muffin. That definitely gives me pause before getting a supermarket muffin.

I was also thinking about a side dish today. I am going to make some pork tenderloin for dinner tonight and was debating what to make with it. I grabbed a box of Rice a Roni I had bought with the thought of using it in a casserole.

Then I read the nutrition information.

I was shocked. I never realized that Rice A Roni was so fattening. Its not even a favorite, but Hubman likes it so every once in a while I grab a box.

Then I grabbed a box of Macaroni and Cheese and Checked out its nutritional value:

Obviously Mac N Cheese is never considered to be a nutritional powerhouse, but learning it had less calories (not much less- but still) than Rice a Roni and 1/2 the fat was a shocker.

Becauase if I were to place these two items side by side and ask, which one had more calories:

I think that almost all of us would pick the Macaroni and Cheese.

Moral of the Story: Read the nutrition labels.

Friday Foodie-Project 52-Week 1: Beef and Onion Stew

2012-01-06T00:01:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I find myself in a cooking rut where despite the cookbooks, magazines and the interwebs, I keep on cooking the same things over and over again. This can also make it challenging to write a weekly food column.

So in order to remedy this I decided to start a Project 52. Each week I am going to make one new recipe and then report back with the recipe and how it was received. Some recipes will be original and some will be from other sources.

This recipe came from The Boston Globe. I actually had it sitting in my recipe folder for two years before I used it, since its a hearty stew and really a winter thing. This recipe is a little time consuming, with about 30-40 minutes of prep and 2-2/12 hours of simmer time, but its a great snow day kind of meal.

Beef and Onion Stew-Serves 6
3½ to 4 pounds beef chuck roast, trimmed and cut into 1½-inch chunks (about 3 pounds)
Salt and pepper
2 tablespoons flour
2 tablespoons canola oil
3½ pounds onions (7 large), halved and thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon minced fresh thyme
½ teaspoon ground ginger
2 medium bay leaves
½ cup homemade or packaged low-sodium chicken broth
1½ cups (1 12-ounce bottle) high-quality dark beer
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1tablespoon cider vinegar
6 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

1. In a medium bowl or ziploc bag, toss the beef with 2 teaspoons salt, 1 teaspoon pepper, and the flour to coat.

2. In a large, heavy Dutch oven, heat 2 teaspoons of the oil over medium-high heat until it ripples. Add half of the beef, so that pieces are close together in a single layer but not touching (do not crowd), and cook without moving them until deeply browned on the bottom, about 3 1/2 minutes. Turn the pieces and cook, again without moving, until second side is deeply browned, about 3 1/2 minutes longer; transfer to a medium bowl and set aside.

3. Heat 2 more teaspoons of oil and repeat to cook remaining beef, reducing the heat as necessary if the drippings in the pot begin to burn.

4. Reduce the heat to medium, heat the remaining 2 teaspoons of oil, and add the onions and ½ teaspoon salt. Stir, cover, and cook, stirring occasionally and scraping the bottom of the pot, until the onions are soft and lightly browned, about 20 minutes.

5. Add the garlic, thyme, ginger, and bay leaves, and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 40 seconds. Add the chicken broth, increase the heat to high, and, using a wooden spoon, scrape up the brown film on the bottom of the pot until it is all dissolved, about 2 minutes.

6. Slowly pour in the beer, then add the brown sugar, vinegar, and 1/2 teaspoon each salt and pepper.

7. Add the cooked beef with accumulated juices, submerge it in the liquid, bring to a boil, reduce heat to very low, cover, and simmer until the beef is tender, about 2- 2 1/2 hours (set the lid slightly askew if the stew looks too soupy).

I served this with a hearty whole wheat sourdough. Hubman and I loved it. The 11 and 5 year old were not quite enthuiastic as you can taste some beer in the broth and onions.

I brought some of the leftovers to work, and my the people in my office who sampled LOVED it.

And look at that! Wouldn't you love some too?